We really haven't had much time for drinking lately basically because of my illness and Patrick's willingness not to drink b/c I'm not (little hint Patrick--I really haven't stopped drinking).  But here is a hilarious story from high school or really the summer during.  One of my friends had to go to summer school b/c he was a fucked-up loser that couldn't even pass high school classes.  Well anyway he tried to get drunk everyday before his damn classes.  Well one morning he got a little too tipsy on the way to school and passed out at the wheel.  He came up behind a jail bus, got underneath the tire and flipped the bus.  His car was so totalled but he survived the incident without a scratch.  Seeing what he had done, he got out of his car and ran not thinking it was a jail bus and just a regular ole bus.  He got about 100 yards and he heard a police officer yelling at him with his gun pointed at him.  He stopped turned around and went to jail.  When they finally could wake him up in his cell, he found out he was arrested for evading the scene of an accident and DWI.  He knew he was going to be in jail for a long time so he got a good lawyer.  He got off with a $500 fine and no jail because he proved that there was no way to find him intoxicated because they did not have that in the police report.  So he's in college now with a 4.0 when he couldn't even pass high school the first go around.

- Dalton 

Here's a little poem for all of you:

There once was a boy who went to college,

And he was really smart.

He started to drink a lot,

Here's where his downfall starts.

He started to skip class and waking up really hung over,

with piss all over his bed.

And he had to throw-up every morning,

Fearing the next day he would end up dead.

 This went on for about 6 months straight,

For this boy just wouldn't learn his lesson,

There was pot going on for his day of death,

And this kept everyone guessing.

He got drunk during class,

Passed out till the end,

And just when he thought it couldn't get any worse,

His problems were just starting to begin.

His grades started to slip,

He started not to care,

He started to drink even more,

And he his face started to have this blank stare.

This all came to an end when he ended up in the hospital.

He was throwing up blood,

He had to give up his drinking,

And this raging alcoholic was no longer a stud.

He ended up with cancer in his stomach,

Something he had to live with the rest of his life.

He had to give up on habits,

And had to live out the rest of his life with his strife.

-Dalton (don't drink)